Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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