are you still at the devil's house?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
