but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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