Quick, to the slutcave!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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