I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He is an equal opportunity slut.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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