she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize