It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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