I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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