you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
