Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
