youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
