He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
