just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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