and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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