I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
