Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
