he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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