I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
