i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
