Can Purell be used as lube?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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