my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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