i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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