Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
