there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
