you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
