Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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