Having a random hookup so left but love u
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
