I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize