He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
