ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize