last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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