I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
