Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think your dad took our porno
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize