apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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