Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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