Screwed.edu
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
