Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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