dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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