I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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