I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
