yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
