In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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