My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
