My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
foreskin is a definite game changer
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
