He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
