you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
