I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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