Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My ATM looks so different sober.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
