are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
