i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
