Me too!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize