He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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