I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
