is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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