The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
