So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think my moral compass just broke
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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