Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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