I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
