you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
