hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
why is half of my head shaved?
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