I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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