Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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