normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
