it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
