Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
