Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
