I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I will be naked everywhere
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
