When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
