my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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