Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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