under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
