WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
