Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
