i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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