It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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