I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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