Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
